Moral truths

Dishonesty, it turns out, is an even better policy.

Baking sorrow to a burnt crisp.

When I am sad, I start to bake and cook. I just got my second Kitchenaid, because it would've been silly to ship my other bigger one all the way here from NY.

Two days ago I made ciabatta. Yesterday, I made General Andy's Chicken. Today I made some bagels, based on inspiration from Heather having made some recently, though I didn't bother with that bitch Martha and went with my trusty King Arthur Flour Baking Companian. I don't know if mine are any better than Heather's, but they look pretty nice.

but if i'm not drunk, how will i speak?

I ought to check myself into an expensive rehab clinic in Utah.
It's my best chance to hook up with Lindsay Lohan.