Wednesday, December 26, 2007

A Seattle Christmas in ten pictures.



I woke up, and this was the view out my front door. It snowed in Seattle, apparently for the first time in ages, and I was in a better mood already. I took a shower and walked over to Safeway to pick up some items with which to make dinner. There were many people at Safeway because it was the only place open.



It looks like a real fire, but it's actually the entire Sunday newspaper in flames. I couldn't get the log burning at all. I had a newspaper, a box of strike anywhere matches, an hour of time; and stood absolutely no chance. If I am ever lost in the wilderness, I will probably die.



Like every Italian-American from New York, I made pizza for Christmas dinner. As is customary, a Hawaiian pie kicked things off. It is a bit misshapen. If you are unfamiliar with Hawaii, I would like to assert that it is an archipelago of eight main islands depicted in stunning accuracy on this pizza using only pineapple tidbits.



Andres Ricardo Ortiz joined in on the holiday cheer. It was a very Hip Replacement Christmas.



We polished that first pie off quickly. Back to the kitchen, Batman!



I used to have a big, long pizza peel but that one would not work in my current small kitchen so now I have a small crappy peel which seriously hinders my creative exploration of pizza form. Unrelatedly, I have been trying to figure out how to use the cleaning cycle in order to get a hotter oven, but alas, I am still unsuccessful and must settle for a mere 500 degrees.



I am like a Chinese Saint Nick offering you New York/Italian food.



This one has tomato sauce, fresh mozzarella, gorgonzola, and caramelized onions.



As you can see, the crust is nicely done. Frankly, pizza is probably the biggest benefit of being my friend and/or roommate. If I should open a pizzeria in Seattle, I would call it "Unoriginal Rays." My motto would be: "Exactly like the Original Rays in New York except in Seattle." It's an advertising campaign that can't fail.



Even though we were stuffed, I made a third pizza anyway because I'd already made the dough. Sadly, there was no room left for the pumpkin pie or the ice cream.

And that's that. I hope you had a delightful Christmas.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

alt-alt

I should get coffee at Starbucks just to be different.

Friday, December 21, 2007

let there be light.

The winter solstice is upon us and for the next six months, there will only be more light. It is probably the most optimistic day of the year.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Cell phones are winning the war for republicans.

Cell phones are so ubiquitous that a) public pay phones are disappearing, and b) fewer people wear watches, using their phones as timepieces instead.

Yesterday I was on the bus and I heard a ticking sound. I thought bomb before I thought watch. I stayed on until my stop.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

I like you the way you are (when we're driving in your car)

I am very amused by the phrase "she's hot though." These three words can be used by any heterosexual male to excuse just about any female behavior or trait (or, for that matter, any related irrational male behavior). It is remarkable. A search for this phrase in google gives results like: "her music sucks ... she's hot, though"; "she always looks kinda cheap ... she's hot, though"; "she's underaged ... she's hot, though"; "she's dumb as bricks ... she's hot, though"; etc. Hot girls get away with everything. On the one hand, it isn't fair; on the other hand, they're hot.