Back in college (when I still did quality thinking), I decided that the best girls to ask out were ones I did not know; random ones on the street or wherever. My reasoning was that this: a) made for a better story, b) made rejection less painful because there was less personal and emotional investment in it. Last week, ten years later, I attempted this.
There's this cute barista that works at the coffee shop on my block that I frequent. I used to see her more often but I'd seen her only twice or so the past couple months. She is cheerful which counts for a lot. I'd never spoken to her before. When I went in, I ordered a "a short latte" ... "umm. with caramel" ... "and soy", replace ellipses with half-second hesitancy because cute girls make me nervous. I mentioned how I hadn't seen her much lately and she said she only worked a few days because of school. Above the static of steaming soy, I found out she was in her last year ("finally"). I would have said more but there were customers behind me so I took a seat and pretended to read and write for an hour.
Then, I had an idea, because I have a habit of working towards ideas more than I do towards success (probably because I expect to fail and wrongly think this makes it better somehow), and asked her if she'd mind if I used a computer for a few minutes as it is an internet cafe. I went over to a computer and opened Word and typed "Dear Miss Barista, Perhaps I can interest you in a drink after your shift, Customer #5, Andy" and I printed it out, and you should know that everything gets sent to a printer behind the counter because you have to pay for printouts, and I went to the counter and told her I had printed something. She, nosy barista, reads the note as she walks over and says she has a boyfriend and thanks me for being nice, and I leave.
I do not know if she really has a boyfriend but I've decided that I'm simply not good looking enough to pull this sort of thing off. And rejection still stinks.
Monday, November 19, 2007
How Not To Ask Out A Girl
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I think that's adorable, and I admire your pluck. And it doesn't hurt to try--look at how Jane wooed Sam Trott at the creperie!
Andy, kind of off-topic: you said this is an idea you came up with ten years ago? I like that. You know Norman Mailer just died? I read that Mailer once said he had all of his best ideas when he was young. Way too many ideas to follow up on as a young man. But he spent the rest of his life putting them into practice. As a middle age and old man, he never had another good idea. But he did a great job of working with his old ones. The best part is: he met Henry Kissinger at a party once, and told Kissinger about this, and Kissinger agreed. All of Kissinger's political ideas were formed at a young age, and he spent the rest of his life making them come true. So all I'm saying is you have a long time to work on this plan for asking out a girl.
Brian, I found your comment about Mailer and spending the rest of your life trying to put your youthful ideas into practice very insightful. I have been thinking about that since I read your comment and find that it is true in my own life as well. Keep being interesting. How is that novel of yours?
Steve, that novel of mine is going to be shipped off in January, and we'll see what happens. Carolyn is helping me create an action-item plan to visualize my long-term goals and minimize my risk investment in this area.
You should also ask Andy about HIS novel. It's going to be great if he ever writes the last word.
Post a Comment